Namaste friends. Some of you may be aware that my mother, Mary Christian Heising, is now in a rest home and has been facing ups and downs in her condition. At 87.5 years of age at the time of this posting, she has had a long life, and outlived my father, John Charles Heising, by seven years (he was 80.5 years old when he passed away March 9, 2006). Perhaps nothing is as disturbing to the psyche then the dissolution process, especially when it is your parents facing the end of their lifetime in their bodies. Whether or not you subscribe to the idea of reincarnation, their lives proceed that of your own in your body, and their souls are probably connected to yours in past lives, certainly in this life of your current incarnation. Yet, as the adult child observes the dissolution of their parent's body, something shines through at essence and it is a most auspicious time to connect at soul level with your parent at this time.
My quest has been to realize this truth at soul level. To realize that the One Life surges through all forms. And that the dissolution process is part and parcel of this drama we call our "lives". That is a bit of a misnomer.... you don't
have a life... you
are life. For, when my mother's form in this lifetime dissolves into its constituent elements, so will my own form at some point, this body that Sri Anandamayi Ma always called herself. Yet, underneath that most miraculous body, or contained within it, is this immense old soul, that of a sage seer saint rishi blessed One. It has just yet to be fully realized and perhaps will be in a next go around in form.
So, it is this revelation of Spirit that currently consumes me. Some may call it my personal spiritual odyssey, as I do in this blog, but I simply call it the search for Truth, and sanity. Eckhart Tolle, one of my principal teachers, calls this dissolution process an opportunity for spiritual realization, because the loss created by the dissolution of a form so near and dear to you as your own mother, rifts the very fabric of your 'relative' reality. This rift creates an opening to Spirit, to the Transcendental, or Ultimate, reality. In that sense, the dissolution process of a parent is a great gift to the adult child. I know this to be true in the case of my great gurudev Paramahansaji Yoganandaji, who lost his beloved mother to illness while he was but a small child. His great grief aided him in his own spiritual quest to unite with the Divine Mother, fully realizing Her reality.
So this bizarre, surreal time warp I now find myself in due to my mother's bodily dissolution process is 'real' in that sense because it is the formation of this rift, this opening in the fabric of existence. And what is shining or streaming through this warp, this rift, is the spiritual formless dimension. You might call this Brahman, the Absolute Reality, or even God. Whatever you call It, these words are just pointers, as Eckhart Tolle often points out.
I feel in the very wee hours of the early morning a closeness to this surreal dimension. It is as it was in Vyasa's cave when Dr Ram Sharma and I meditated there along the sacred Ganges (Ganga). The tangible closeness to the Divine realm of spirit, to the formless dimension, as Eckhart Tolle calls it.
Driven to study Emerson and Thoreau, my consciousness seeks the Transcendent, to dwell simultaneously on the banks of both the sacred Ganges and Walden Pond, as well as the nearby Lake LaVerne here in Ames, Iowa where I presently reside The sacredness of Nature encompasses all life on this planet. You might say that my soul seeks to reunite with the Over Soul described by Emerson. You might just say that I feel my father is calling my mother home to dwell with him in the heavenly realms. You might also just say that "sat-chit-ananda" is shining through. Then again, you might say all life has become a prayer, a sacred mantra, an expression of Divine Grace.
Not only is father calling mother back home, he is also tugging at my heartstrings as well. How many years left in this body? Who can tell? Does it really matter? Only relatively. Even the sun must dies. And even our universe, over gargantuan incomprehensible periods of time, will dissolve.
So the mind cannot 'understand' or 'analyze' the Transcendent dimension. Only the underlying stillness of who we really are at soul level can touch the Ultimate sublime. For however long this body remains in its present form, which will not be too long, let me act as a portal to that dimension of the sublime.
Hari Aum... Amen.
[PHOTO: My mother and I on an outing at her rest home in March 2014]
[PHOTO: Dr Ram Sharma giving diksha (laying of hands for healing )to my mother in January 2014]
